You guys all know I get really bored a lot of the time. But only my friend Grant knows that I spend a lot of my time being bored listening to samples of guitar effects, amps, and guitars in general. These things are endlessly entertaining, not so much for the pleasure of hearing the actual effects, but for how completely goofy the music often sounds. There's a term called guitar wanking, which, if you've ever been in Guitar Center, you've probably heard. That's about what happens on these equipment samples.
And if you're really lucky, Johnny DeMarco is the guy playing the samples and talking about them.
It's really goofy stuff, and obviously not indicative of any type of music that is actually popular in the world outside of people who really dig guitar virtuosity (of which there are few, and most of them only listen to Paul Gilbert and these clips).
Anyway, I mess around on guitar a lot when I'm bored of listening to other people play in a wank-tastic fashion during effect samples, which is already a result of boredom. So I'm doubly bored when I start playing guitar, which means I get sidetracked a lot.
I know, who would expect me to get sidetracked? I have such a straightforward blog that never goes on tangents.
Today I tried to record a surf rock-style song, but got too annoyed at my laptop microphone's inability to make things sound good. I was also bored, so my attention span was short, so I stopped trying to get it right.
The problem is, though, that I decided I as going to post a bit of music on this here blog. I figured it'd be a time to live up to the title of my blog in forcing myself to do things I relaly don't like.
And I hate showing any music I think of to anyone.
Alas, I still lost this round for the most part, because my combination of perfectionism/short attention span made me give up. But I decided I was still gonna do something musical for the blog. So I decided I would just try to emulate some of the wankiest-wanking I could think of.
I took a stock loop from garage band, laid down a rhythm that is my best approximation of something I might hear on Smooth Jazz 98.1, and then solo'd with all of the wanktitutde I could muster.
All in all, it took about 30 minutes, and I thought it was douche-y enough for me to share without feeling self-conscious about. It's supposed to be kind of bad, which means I still didn't totally do something I like, putting creative work I actually care about out for anyone to see, but I'm taking baby steps by showing the internets that I play music a lot.
Anyways, here's The Jazz Wank, as I hastily named it. Please God don't judge me. Or do, be brutal, I think it'd supposed to be made fun of for you to enjoy it.
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