Some Fancy Artwork and Whatnot

I drew this in 10 minutes, trying to do one thing, and then falling back into my normal half-assed artistic inclinations. It's got a few titles:

• Kindly Letting Down the Inept Artist at the Swanky Low-Brow Gallery Opening
• Am I Getting This Low-Brow Art Reference Right? Shag is Considered Low-Brow, Right? I Guess He's the Only One I Know.
• Aren't You Unemployed? Shouldn't You Be Applying to Jobs in the time You're Doodling?
• I Can't Believe I Like the Alkaline Trio Song "Burn" These Days. It's Bad Enough I'm Still Listening to Music I liked in 8th Grade.

And finally:

• Did Anyone Have a Running Pool for When Spencer was going to Start Going a Tad Insane? I Think Anyone Who Has This Monday Won the Pool.

I kid, obviously. But I'll probably start writing in this again. I may or may not spend at least a couple days formulating a really solid and then hastily (and definitely not proof-read) write something about Adventuretime with Finn and Jake. I'll give you a preview: I think it's swell, and I have an angry young auteur to thank for turning me on to it.

Man, Holidays Not Associated With Jesus or Pilgrims Are Lameeee

It seems like every non-religious/patriotic based holiday these days end up being kind of a downer for the ol' Spence-meister*. Even a holiday that seems infallible for a imbibing type fella like me seems to be a little less fun this year, for mainly two reasons.

Let's start with how I woke up. I couldn't hear very well out of my left ear. This had been happening regularly, actually, but it went away pretty quickly. The general consensus of the Amateur Board of Physicians of America that I've been consulting with is that I probably just need my ear rinsed by a doctor with their fancy doctor tools.

Me being me, I put that shit off until I couldn't hear well for a day and a half. I plan on seeing a doctor tomorrow, so I'll go two days without hearing much from good ol' left-ear. Imagine if you shoved a really effective ear plug in your ear, then for good measure, covered it with your hand as well. That's how I feel. Kinda weird.

So, not a good way to start things off, but nonetheless, I powered through the day. As you may remember from the last time I blogged, I am now an intern, so I went to said internship, and was (quite benevolently) allowed to leave early, which gave me time to venture to the delightfully dive-y sports bar right next door that I had been eyeing since I arrived here.

I thought to get a Guinness, because, you know, I'm a walking stereotype, but plans changed when I saw they had domestic beer food-colored to be green. That's even more gravy for the stereotype sect, and I had yet to have a green beer ever, because last St. Patty's (my first legal one, if you're keeping track) the Irish pub I was at didn't think to do that, not sure why (trying to be classy? I don't know; either way, their bad).

I digress though. Green beer. Me--tired, weird ear, but excited because green beer! I'm only having one because I have to drive home and I've been up for far too long, but I wanted to celebrate what is nominally one of the more fun holidays.

This is where shit goes wrong.

It starts with a pretty girl. I'll call straight talk on this one; I don't think I've ever been approached by a random pretty girl in a place where alcohol is. Me being tired and down one functioning ear, not to mentioned still very sunburned from being out in the sun all day two days prior, I am decidedly out of my element when this happens, more so than I'd usually be out of my element.

But, in my head, I'm like, maybe this will be cool. I'm not a terrible looking dude, and my shoulders are slightly broader due to me diligently exercising specifically my shoulders. Perhaps I've become a magnet to the opposite sex in the past three weeks.

I start getting nervous, but in an excited way. She finally sets her green beer down on the opposite side of the counter where I am sitting by myself.

"Are you Mark Zuckerberg?"

Shit. I don't even know how to respond in a clever way, because I woke up 14 hours ago, and had been in the office for 12. My brain was so excited about the green beer that it was too focused on that. I'm a sucker for novelty.

"No, I'm not," I try to stammer out with a chuckle.

"No, you areeeee. I loved you in The Social Network." She informs me.

But this is confusing. Am I Mark Zuckerberg, or Jesse Eisenberg at this point? Which is the lesser of two evils? Is this decidedly blonde woman an anti-Semite? Again, can't process this all, because, green beer.

We talk for a little more, she explains she's been drinking green beer all night and is just messing around. She introduces me to her brother from a distance, who looks drunk and ornery and very quickly shoots out at me, "Hey, that's my baby sister" with an ominous tone.

All the while, I can't hear shit. I tell her this was my first green beer ever and I was very excited about it.

"Ever?!" She asks. I nod yes.

"So, you're like, what, 22 and a half?"

"Like, 22 and a quarter, I think."

What followed was an "oh my goshhhhh" look, and a quick farewell.

"It was nice meeting you; you were a good sport," I barely hear her say. She goes back to her table.

I finish the rest of my beer, sitting again on my own. I start to think about watching more of "The Trailer Park Bo--" WAIT A SECOND. What was that look? Was I too young for her or something? Was she hitting on me? Holy shit, that would be awesome! Maybe I'm awesome!

But then again, if I was a surrogate for Jesse Eisenberg or Mark Zuckerberg (both?), maybe that wasn't the most flattering come-on that could happen.

So then I just went home and watched "The Trailer Park Boys," had a Guinness (Extra Stout!), and pondered over whether I should work on improving my posture.

It was a weird night I felt like sharing. Happy Friday, everyone. I'll spare you all a Rebecca Black joke here.

*Oh God, I just typed that. I should probably edit it out when I'm done writing all of this.

What A Ride

Well, of course it would be anticlimactic, me missing my first blog of the year.

I was shaving and thought, ah shit; it's 11:54 and I forgot to blog. Not even a cool coming of age story involving some manic pixie dream girl*

But there is a good reason I forgot. You see, I started the morning in San Diego as an unemployed loafer trying to be productive by at least writing once a day. By the end of the day, I was in Los Angeles as an intern, and am now prepping to be so I can wake up at the earliest time I've woken up since well over a year ago.

As it is mostly a full time gig for a while, the update schedule for this blog will switch from "once a day" to "whenever I have something good to write about." I'm not sure when this will happen, but let's assume it'll be this weekend.

Until then, thanks for putting up with the narcissism on my part for thinking people were interested in the most mundane things I had to say every day for about 71 days. Knowing there are people who will indulge this means that I keep good company, and the world is probably a mostly swell place, all things considered. Well, all things considered, maybe not, but take the good when you can get it, I guess. You probably know what I'm getting at.

*I assume most of you read the AV Club and understand this reference. If you don't, you should look it up, cuz it means you'll probably start reading the AV Club, because it's neat.

Losing

Alright, I suck, because I put off writing once again. But that's not important because I watched The Losers just now, and boy oh boy, is that one a treat.

Depending on whether or not you hate yourself, that is.

I kid, I kid.  But I also don't.

I oftentimes spend a lot of time thinking about films like this more than movies I just flat out like, because I find what I call "bad cinema" a little more interesting from an analytical standpoint. And The Losers is chock full of bad cinema.

Is it entertaining? I dono, kinda, not really. Are there a lot of explosions? Fuck yeah. Does it make effectively post-modern use of Journey's "Don't Stop Believing?" Absolutely it did.

If you're drunk, bored and watching HBO, are under the age of 16, in your twenties and haven't read a book since junior year of high school, it's definitely an enjoyable movie. But that's a lot of circumstance.
If you watch it as a 22 year old unemployed former film student who watched a lot of student films desperately striving to be "cool," not good, you kind of get annoyed.

But it's an interesting case study in bad cinema, because it uses every play in the bad action playbook. EVERY ONE. Hyper saturated overblown handheld cinematography, gratuitously long and mostly unnecessary sex scene, bad comic relief, strong silent type, scenery chewing bad guy played by a pretty good actor who is mostly underutilized but was obviously a character they were banking on to be popular... I could keep going, but I gotta go take a shower.

Anyway, I would recommend it if you're not a snob, or if you're a snob who thinks it's more fun to scoff at bad shit than talk about why Black Swan's adherence to the melodramatic style of ballet was brilliant, or something.

Remember What I Said the Title for Today's Post Was? I Lied.

My previously planned post is derailed by the fact that today is Mardi Gras, a holiday I've never celebrated as a result of being either underage, not an old school Catholic, or resistant to French culture*. But today, my mind isn't working well enough to pay tribute to something that was a pretty big deal in my insular home life, so I'll call a brevity day today as a result of a holiday. One that I fully intend to kind of celebrate this year.

That is to say, if at one point tonight I'm at a bar, and some girl shows everyone her boobs for beads, I'll probably not look away or anything. Not gonna not see some boobies and say "Nope! No Mardi Gras for me!"

You now realize, after that one paragraph, why I didn't try to write anything serious today.

*Totally joking, kind of.

Canonized

I'm going to tell you this flat out: I bought a really fancy DSLR camera today, and I'm not posting any photos, because I'm lazy today and didn't figure out how to put them on my computer. Also, I had too much fun, you know, taking pictures. Deal with it. And by deal with it, I mean wait until tomorrow.

I bought a Canon 7D for two reasons: 1) I wanted to take nice photos of the towering star pine that is a landmark of my home that will be dismantled tomorrow and 2) I never wanted to have to buy a Mini-DV tape whenever I wanted to make something. Check and check. I hope I become more productive as a result.

To further help productivity, I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind today. Holy gosh, I forgot how good of a movie that is. I forgot about how much I kind of liked it as a 10th grader eating Applebees to-go by myself while my friends were at their Winter Formal (it's cool, I was totally having a great time and don't need girls or socializing to be happy, so I told myself), but now how much I really like it as a 22 year-old who respects cinematic craft and sad-sack characters who can't make eye contact with women he hasn't met*. I'll probably write about it some time in the future with a little more depth. It deserves to be not glossed over, as it's one of the few films in recent history that really did something different. Cool stuff.

Anyway, tune in tomorrow for a very special blog: "Goodbye, Star Pine." Very special, in that I really like that title.

*Hey, me too, Jim Carrey! (Quick disclaimer: This is mostly a joke)

Big Prelude Sunday

Tomorrow, I'm going to make the largest (somewhat) recreational purchase of my adult life. As such, I've been quite distracted today. Nonetheless, here's a good point that should be made every once in a while:

Edgar Wright is a very good filmmaker. I say this as I watch Hot Fuzz and type without looking at the screen. Only an obsessive film nerd such as myself would ever really notice how good he is, but it's worth noting that his films have trivia tracks on the DVDs, which would help give someone a better clue as to how awesome he packs things into his movies.

I can't say enough good things about him, but for now, this will suffice. I'll see you tomorrow, journal-bloggy-thingy.